Let´s talk about wedding ceremonies. I would especially like to concentrate on symbolic ones - the ones that are not happening in the registry office or the church, but anywhere you like, and performed by specialised officiant or your family member or friend, thus may have quite a free flow on how everything is organised and what´s going on during the ceremony process.
As far as I have been witnessing, fashion to hold symbolic ceremonies came after they have become popular in the USA - remember all these movies with father of the bride leading his blushing daughter down the aisle, to meet her groom, and where they exchange vows and rings under the arch, in front of the guests seating on the both sides of the aisle?.. Romantic and beautiful, no wonder so many couples have adopted the trend. The symbolic ceremony lets the couples personalise their wedding day, celebrate their real union, exchange heartfelt vows in front of their families and friends at the best fitting place, time and manner, choosing their own wedding officiant and negotiating his or her ceremony speech. And no wonder, that many couples afterwards perceive the day of such a symbolic ceremony as their main wedding day.
I will be talking, of course, a lot about various details of the wedding ceremonies in my next posts. But today I would like to concentrate on one question: should the couple sit or stand in front of the "altar", during the ceremony?
Swiss wedding tradition?
To be honest, it´s only in Switzerland that personally I have been watching this trend: the couple is seated on the chairs or bench for the most of the symbolic ceremony. They listen to the officiant´s speech, sometimes special songs and readings given by a friend or a family member - all while sitting, and standing up only for wedding rings exchange, proclaiming their wedding vows and, of course, for the final kiss. It´s interesting to watch such an arrangement and I must admit, it looks a bit unusual fore some people. I personally don´t find it very practical, but of course it would be very useful to look at the matter closely. So what would be the pros and cons of the couple sitting vs. standing during the symbolic wedding ceremony?
Couple sitting during the ceremony
Pros:
- when some comfort is needed: if the ceremony is long, or the couple is very tired after earlier wedding chores (photoshoot, greeting the guests, you name it..), or these bridal pumps haven´t been broken into earlier and are very tight now, or the bride is expecting - seats provided for the ceremony would be definitely very pleasant for some recovery before performing for that beautiful wedding dance and the party afterwards.
- traditionalism: the marrying couple is usually being seated during the long church (catholic and protestant) ceremony. Sitting down during the symbolic ceremony is especially appropriate when the couple would like to get the feeling that they are being married in the church.
- helps to calm down the nerves: as one of my former brides has shared with me, "sitting down helps to calm down one´s trembling knees") Yes, in such an emotional moment it´s definitely an advantage, when you feel almost fainting from all the feelings overwhelming you!
Cons:
- mind the dress: beautifully walking down the aisle and then sitting down requires special and constant attention from the bride to her dress - how to sit so that the skirt folds look nicely at the pictures, the train sits beautifully next to her and how not to seat on the wedding veil at the same time. Another thing: not all the dresses are that comfortable to sit in in general - for instance, when there is internal corset with the wiring, it can cause some inconvenience for the bride to sit down - and during the ceremony she is the most beautiful of them all, so she needs comfort at its best! (you can ease up the corset binds later on the banquet;) Oh, and most importantly: generally sitting down prevents everyone from witnessing the whole beauty of the wonderful wedding gown, it´s full silhouette and beautiful fabrics! Something to consider here..
- guests won´t see you: Most of the ceremony guests that are sitting at the further rows simply don´t see the bride and groom at the "altar" as they are all at the same visibility level - unless the ceremony venue is an amphitheatre or the "altar" part is elevated on a stage of sorts. Positioning of the bridal seats is also very often not so beneficial: when the couple seats in the centre, but with their backs to their guests, their shared emotions during the officiant´s speech won´t be visible for many guests. Often the seats are located on either side of the centre of the ceremony - then the guests sitting further away from the couple won´t see most of it either.
- photo/videographers won´t see you: for the best photo and video captures, the professionals would need space and good visibility of the couple. When the couple is seated, the photo/videographers are often stretching over some guests to make the best shots (in case of very tight seating plan) or have to find out best shooting positions, which is not impossible (they are professionals, after all), but challenging for many.
- too much movement: sit down-stand up-sit down again or come towards the officiant for the rings - depending on the ceremony plan, all that moving around is time and energy consuming, plus the couple might be too nervous so I would not recommend for them to perform too many movements at such an important moment.
- additional noise: minor concern, but still possible. In case the seats would have to be moved for standing up, for instance, the additional noise could be created - not that serious thing, but we want the ceremony to be absolutely flawless, don´t we?
Couple standing during the ceremony
Pros:
- good visibility for everyone: typically, the couple is standing in front of all the guests, symmetrically so that everyone sees them, and photographers and videographers will be free to make the best shots of the best wedding moments. The focal point is the specially prepared wedding decoration (arch, flower compositions or other ceremony centrepiece) and often the officiant´s ceremony table - and the couple stands in front of it as well, facing each other, giving everyone opportunity to share in their emotions and admire their love towards each other.
- classical "that ceremony" look: the dreamy wedding down the aisle with your bridesmaids and groomsmen, you both facing each other, holding hands and exchanging the emotional vows... just how many of us are imagining it! And yes, during these dreamy ceremonies couples do stand, not sit.
- showing off that frock! the main pictures of the wedding day are usually the ceremony ones - where the bride and groom are shown in all their glory! so standing during the ceremony helps to show off their wedding attires at its best as well - everyone will see that Dress you´ve been hunting for for months! very satisfying indeed:)
- stable position: just have your bridesmaid (standing next to you, isn´t it another lovely touch?) sort out your dress and veil, and you won´t have to be worried about the dress for the rest of the ceremony! The rings and any ceremony additions will be brought up to you so you won´t need to move away from your perfect position.
Cons:
- long standing is never comfortable, but I always recommend to my couples to have symbolic ceremonies no longer than 20-25 minutes (everyone is always tired of long stories, and you don´t want your ceremony to last a lifetime anyways - there are so many things to do afterwards as well!). If your officiant for some reason insists on a longer ceremony, then, of course, some seating would be necessary - unless you discuss in details the speech and really look at what´s too long and can be cut or altered, thus making the speech shorter. I will be giving tips on these details in my further ceremony related posts.
It is of course important to consider all the pros and cons of sitting and standing during the wedding ceremony. Just always remember - no matter what you choose, it will be something most fitting the two of you! I just hope that these thoughts of mine will help you to make perfect decision.
Best regards
Alex
